4 Mar 2009

Despise this unutterable & inexpressible feeling

Homesick. Arggh!!!

What’s wrong with me? 3 weeks already since the holiday and I’m still homesick. So useless.

I was ok when I was on the phone with them or when I’m busy. But when I got nothing to do, the feeling is back. I was totally ok when I had heart-to-heart with hubby. But still it doesn’t go away. It’s just like a deadly infectious virus haunting deep inside me. I hate this. It’s so depressing~~~ T___T

I still remember a few days after I just arrived UK, I was so upset that I broke into tears in front of AJ. He was quiet when he saw me crying and kept turning checking on me while I tried to divert his attention to toys. Blessed~~~ I enjoyed every moment at Malaysia and didn’t realise that it was the end of the holiday already. Missing every moment! A gruelling torturing punishment. What did I do to deserve this?

I’ve been trying to refrain myself to confess with hubby about when’s the next trip going back home. As I know the more I think about it, I might just ending up book a single trip ticket online without having much thought. Wahaha…sounds silly but that’s how I feel.

But situation doesn’t allow me to do so. I got work commitments here with good pay. Better than kais pagi makan pagi, kais petang makan petang (Malay Idioms – awesome, I still remember this. Although it’s a bit weird writing in Malay. I thought I spelled it wrongly) =.= That’s life, eh? To be honest, I enjoy working with my current company. Thumbs up to its working environment, benefits which I love and of course, good pay.

Are there any other things I can do to make life better? My friends encouraged me to stay in UK as the education, health, life style is much better for AJ compare to Malaysia. Is this true? Yes in education but I cannot see this in primary or high school. I agree with the health and level of service here but I wouldn’t like to see him getting sick all the time during winter season. Life style?

Hurm…maybe I don’t have much friends here. The friends we mingle mostly at weekends are Rudolf and his brothers, Kok Fung, Teck Young and Ken with his family. I miss Val! Val, when are you coming over again? All my girl friends in Malaysia - Yii Chieh, Kam Chung (opps, ok..he’s my boy friend), Tai Lee, Tai Fung, Ing Ing, Hie Mee. My family, those in KL and Sarikei. Teck Young might be leaving us soon when he finishes his studies this coming September. I’m gonna miss his jokes. A lot. I wonder who’ll be our new circle of friends.

In order to make my life more interesting, I know…
- I shall joke a lot more with jimmy. Have a healthy relationship. *grin wickedly*
- I shall with AJ a lot more, seriously and healthily1 – teach him to speak properly not - baba…dada…bai bai
- I shall think of nutritious meal for AJ.
- I shall organise more interesting activity, but these have to wait until winter’s over. Picnic, beach (the Gold coast as according to Alice), kids playground, siak ta (tea time - copycat from Connie)
- I shall utilise all my freetime to its full extend – caring AJ, cleaning the house, taking some fresh air outside with AJ.
- I shall update meself with Alice’s project (365)/2.
- I shall continue with my healthy diet...wahaha..i’m so happy with my current figure. I haven’t heard any fatty word from hubby or Connie for quite some time
- I shall challenge myself to wear dress or skirt - I’ve a really sick phobia of not being lady enough. I don’t even know why myself
- I shall take a lot of photos with meself in it.
- I shall play actively in FB – pet society (that’s when I’m really bored)

Gosh, I felt so much better after writing this post~~~ I know I'll feel better in soon. sooooonnnnnn.....Haha… like everyone else, you’ll miss the happy days. You will and you’ll remember so vividly in your mind. You’ll wish that you still at holiday. That’s what holiday means and a must have for everyone. Miss you all, everyone! Always and everyday.

Maybe we should arrange another holiday soon? £££££



Alice said...

wahh...another emo post T.T miss the happy days toooooo.. i guess we miss those happy moments lots cos we really appreciate 'em. Not to worry, not to worry, you'll be alright soon. But leh, if you guys have to decided not to move back ar, can u at least move to a country where the currency is lower bit not?? hahahah cos.. so damn expensive to fly over for a week stay la.. air tickets will be wasted.. on top of that, most of us working.. and i dun get that much of leave la.. have to accumulate accumalate yobi adumak! (quote unquote connie) until donkey years neh~~~

ho~~~~ now come to think of it.. the other day u sent me an offline message.. is it because of this?? homesickness?

Margaret said...

wah..i just realise connie has so much influence between us. haha....

yalo..i kept looking for it but then i decided not need anymore as I have enough photos. haha...i did find it in the end....:)

Alice said...

hahaha yea lo connie is very funny and her blog reminds me a lot of my ol' skool dayss. cant wait to see the header liao

Conny said...

da jie...is xiak ta not siak ta!!
i will say u fat if u become fat gain o~~

Margaret said...

@conny: haha....sorry neh...wrong spelling.